My name is Sam and I am a 26-year-old EX-heroin addict. I say EX and not “recovering” because I have been made new. I am no longer who I once was, and this is my story. My struggle began as a teenager. I was always unhappy with my life. I never felt that I belonged or was good enough, and I had intense bouts of anxiety, depression, and anger. I never felt understood, and I couldn’t even understand myself. This led to all types of risky behavior and eventually to my use of drugs and alcohol.
Once I began drinking it didn’t take long for alcohol to become my number one priority. I had finally found a way to forget. To escape. To feel “better”.
But, at the end of the day I was still never satisfied. I drank until I blacked out, I smoked until I was numb. Eventually, that wasn’t enough. I experimented with other drugs, but once I started taking opiates I was completely hooked. I had found the feeling that I had been looking for all along. After I began using opiates, my addiction progressed very quickly, and I suffered immensely. I was in and out of jail for years. I stole, lied, was cut off from my family, became homeless, and even sold my body for drugs.
I was desperate, I was miserable, and I was hopeless. I had consequence after consequence, but a part of me still wanted to get high. I hated myself for the things I’d done and would use just to try to forget about them. It became a vicious cycle. I had believed in God, and even that Jesus was the Son of God, but something was missing. I knew that He was powerful, but for some reason I didn’t believe that He could or would help me.
I was beyond reach. I didn’t think there was a way out. I truly believed I was in too deep, or maybe I just wasn’t ready to let go. In September of 2013 I had a encounter with the Living God that changed my life forever. I totaled my husband’s car into a telephone pole and I was taken to jail for violating felony probation.
That night In jail I called a friend of mine who had been attempting to mentor me and lead me back toward Christ for quite some time. My friend proceeded to tell me that at around 4pm the previous day the Lord had told her that He was going to let me die. She thought she may be imagining things but decided to pray hard anyway. She prayed that He would spare my life.
Little did she know that right around that time I had overdosed on heroin and been resuscitated. Then two hours later I totaled my car after passing out at the wheel, and came out with barely a scratch on me. I had taken my life for granted so much that what had happened that day didn’t even phase me until my friend told me this.
Suddenly I was overcome with gratitude and awe. He had answered her prayer. In that instant I finally understood the SOVEREIGNTY and the MERCY of God. He could have allowed me to die, but He didn’t. In fact, I deserved to die, but in His mercy he chose to spare my life once again. I had thought I was “saved” before, but never before had I surrendered all of my life to Jesus Christ.
That night I got down on my hands and knees and gave my life and addiction to Jesus Christ. I told Him that I wanted Him to be the Lord of my life and my Master. I asked Him to change the desires of my heart, and HE HAS. What happened that night was supernatural and hard to explain but I can tell you that I know Jesus can give Freedom, because that is what He has given to me.
I didn’t have to try harder. In fact I didn’t have to try at all. All I had to do was lay it down at His feet and He was there in an instant to break the chains that had been binding me for the past ten years. Today I have been sober and free for almost 2 years. God has not only given me freedom from addiction through Christ, but freedom from so many other things as well. He has brought healing and restoration to my soul. I am content and at peace. Even through struggles and storms, He has given me Joy that I never knew was possible. Thanks Be to God!